Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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