Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
