ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize