Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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