no, he came in my armpit
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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