You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just found puke in my bra..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
