Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's like God shit irony all over that family
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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