i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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