Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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