In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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