I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize