i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize