I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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