I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
