i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
