I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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