last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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