Your face is a jimmy john
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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