She's JV to your varsity
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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