Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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