I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
