I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
