Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
