isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize