Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Send help, water and tortillas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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