Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
