that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
