id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
