he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
