I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize