We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
