Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
