i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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