just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize