I want to make a zoo with you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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