I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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