Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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