Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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