what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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