i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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