One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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