My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who died my cat blue again?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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