Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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