Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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