He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize