omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
