I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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