i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
