He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We named our party play list daddy issues
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
