Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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