could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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