i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
