I seem to have left my pride at pride
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
