I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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