If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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