If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize