...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
