remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
