She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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