Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
