We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
