did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize