omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize