Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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