I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
