Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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