I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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